We all admire the wisdom of people who come to us for advice.

There is a warm feeling that comes when someone asks you what they should do, and it is easy to mistake that warmth for proof of your own good sense. Being consulted flatters; it does not verify. The people who seek you out may simply be the ones who already lean your way, which makes your advice feel wiser than it has been tested to be.

Next time someone asks, notice the pleasure first and set it aside. Ask what they have already considered before offering what you think. And go find someone who will tell you where you are wrong.