Talk to yourself like a coach who wants you to win, not a commentator who wants a headline.

The voice in your head has a job, and the two versions of it produce very different results. A coach is specific, forward looking, and interested in the next attempt. A commentator is looking for a dramatic line about what just happened, which is entertaining and useless to the person playing. Most people run the second one by default and call it being realistic.

Listen to what you say after a mistake this week and check which voice it is. If there is no instruction in it, it is commentary. Replace it with something short and about the next thing.