A mistake becomes more dangerous when shame keeps it unexplored.

An error you cannot bear to look at stays exactly as it was, which means the conditions that produced it are still in place. Shame does not correct anything; it just hides the material from you, and hidden errors tend to repeat with better camouflage. What made it dangerous was never the mistake itself but the darkness around it.

If there is something you have been avoiding thinking about, try describing it to yourself in neutral language: what happened, in what order, and what you did. No verdict. The examination is usually far less painful than the years of flinching away from it.