Ask what is yours to influence before describing what is unfair.

Both descriptions are worth having, but the order matters. Starting with what is unfair tends to fill the available space and leave nothing for action, while starting with what you can influence keeps you in a working relationship with the problem. The unfairness can still be named afterward.

When something goes wrong, make your first question about your own available moves, however small. Then, if it helps, describe what was unjust about it. Leading with agency changes what you notice.