Listen to how you talk about other people’s wins. “Lucky” versus “earned” says more about you than about them.

Calling someone lucky is a small way of keeping their win from counting. It is usually not cruelty, it is self protection, because if they earned it then the gap between you is about work and not chance. The word you reach for tells you which story you are telling yourself. Nobody hears that but you, at least at first.

Catch yourself the next time a classmate posts something good. Try naming one specific thing they did to get there, even if only in your head.