Most arguments are two people angry about two different things they both assumed the other meant.

Two people can argue for an hour about entirely separate things without noticing. Each is responding to the meaning they assigned to the other’s words, which means neither is answering what was actually said. The heat is real even though the subject is imaginary. That is why so many fights feel unresolvable and then evaporate the second someone checks.

When a disagreement stops making sense, stop and ask what they think you are saying. Half the time the fight turns out to be a translation problem.