You’ll change more minds by listening first than by talking louder. People soften when they feel heard.

People do not soften because your argument got louder. They soften because they stop bracing. As long as someone is waiting for their turn to defend themselves, nothing you say reaches the part of them that could actually change its mind. Listening takes the fight out of the room, and only then does any real thinking start.

Try it in the next disagreement, even a small one about where to eat. Let them finish, then say back what you heard before you say what you think. Watch how much shorter the argument gets once nobody has to fight to be understood.