The second you start defending your work, you stop hearing how to fix it.

Defending and listening run through the same channel, and you cannot use both at once. The second you start explaining why you did it that way, your attention shifts to building a case, and the actual information slides past unheard. Some of what they say will be wrong, and you still cannot sort it mid-argument, because sorting needs the words to land first.

When feedback starts, say nothing but questions until they are finished. Write it all down, including the parts you disagree with. Decide what to keep the next day, once it is no longer a conversation.