In an argument, the person who’s actually listening already has the advantage.

Listening looks like the weak position and it is not. While you are loading your next line, you are not taking in information, so you end up arguing with a version of the other person you invented a moment ago. The one who is actually listening knows what is really bothering the other side, which is almost never the thing being said first.

Next time a disagreement starts, go one exchange longer before you respond. Repeat back what you think they mean and let them correct you. You will either find out you were wrong about their point or you will make your own point to the person standing there.