Learning never looks cool while it’s happening. It only looks cool after.

The awkward stretch is unavoidable and it is also the only part anyone watching can see. Being bad in public is what the process actually looks like from outside, which is why so few people stay in it long. Everyone you admire went through exactly that phase where nobody was impressed. You simply met them afterward.

Accept in advance that the first weeks of anything new will look clumsy, and go anyway. Do the beginner thing where people can see you do it. The embarrassment is temporary and the skill is not, and the trade only looks bad from inside the first month.