Your parents’ mistakes are lessons you already paid for by living through them. Use them.

You were in the room for a set of consequences you did not choose, which is a hard way to learn anything and also a real education if you decide to use it. Watching how something played out over years teaches you things no warning could. The choice is whether that knowledge sits there as resentment or gets turned into something you do differently.

Name one pattern you saw up close and what you want instead, in plain words. Be fair about it, since most of it was done by people working from their own limited maps. Then take what is useful and leave the rest.