You’ll never see most of what your parents gave up. That’s how they wanted it.

Whoever raised you made a long run of decisions you were deliberately kept out of. The job they did not take, the thing they went without, the worry they carried in the car and put away before you got in. It was hidden on purpose so that you would not have to hold it, and the fact that you cannot see it is the plan working.

Ask one direct question about a hard year they had. Then thank them for something specific rather than in general, because general never lands.