Being cool is mostly caring a lot about looking like you don’t care.

Indifference that has to be visible is not indifference. Getting the look right, the timing of the reply right, the exact amount of enthusiasm right, is an enormous amount of caring spent on appearing not to care, which is one of the strangest deals people make. Actual not caring is quiet and slightly scruffy. Nobody notices it, which is the point they are missing.

Try letting yourself be visibly keen about one thing this week. Turn up early, say you liked it, ask the question without the shrug. The people who matter will find it a relief, and you get the energy back that was going into the performance.