One day you’ll see your parents as people instead of parents, and a lot of things will finally make sense.

Parents begin as functions rather than people. The one who drives, the one who says no, the one who is tired. At some point the frame shifts and you see two people improvising under pressure, carrying their own fears and unfinished business, and a lot of the decisions you resented turn out to have reasons behind them.

You can bring that shift forward a little. Ask about their twenties, their first job, the thing they wish they had done. Understanding is not agreeing, but it makes closeness and distance both easier to manage.