People who know themselves are slow to speak and hard to rattle.

Rushing to answer is usually a way to settle something inside you rather than to say something useful. When you already know what you think and what you value, there is less to settle, so the pause comes easily. The same goes for being provoked. A dig only lands when part of you is not sure it is wrong.

Practice the two second gap before you reply, in person and in messages. Notice which comments make you fast, because speed marks the tender spot. That is the thing to look at later, quietly, rather than defend on the spot.