Look at who you text first when you’re bored. That tells you something about what you’re looking for.

Boredom strips the strategy out of your choices. Whoever you open when there is nothing to accomplish is the person your attention actually wants, which is not always the person you would name if someone asked. Sometimes it is comfort, sometimes it is someone who makes you feel interesting, sometimes it is a person who is no good for you. The pattern is more honest than the explanation.

Scroll back two weeks and look at who you opened first with nothing to say. Ask what you were after each time. Nothing has to change yet, but knowing the answer makes the next choice yours.