You don’t have to fill every pause. Some of the realest answers show up in the quiet after a question.

Silence in a conversation feels like a problem to be solved, so most people fill it fast, usually with something safe. The honest answer is often still loading when that happens, and the filler kills it. Three seconds of space is the difference between what somebody says first and what they actually think. It works on you as much as on them.

Ask someone a real question this week and then say nothing until they answer. Let it be awkward. When it gets done to you, use the gap instead of filling it, because your second answer is usually truer than your first.