Being unbothered isn’t pretending. It’s having better things to think about.

Performed indifference takes constant effort, and people can tell, because the person still checks who noticed. Real indifference is just a shortage of available attention. When something you care about is occupying your head, there is nothing left over for a comment from someone whose opinion you never asked for. The calm is a side effect rather than a technique.

If you are working hard at not caring, the honest first step is admitting you care. Then put the attention somewhere it pays: a project, a practice, a person. The unbothered part tends to arrive on its own.