People follow incentives, not speeches. Find what they’re rewarded for and you’ll predict what they’ll do.

Stated values are usually sincere and mostly irrelevant when they conflict with what pays. Most people are not being hypocrites, they are responding to the structure they are inside: what gets them promoted, praised, left alone or not yelled at. If you want to know what somebody will do next week, look at what the system around them rewards. It beats their explanation almost every time.

With the next person confusing you, ask what they are rewarded for and what happens to them if they do what you want. If the incentive runs against you, change the ask rather than the argument.