The friend who always has it together still likes being asked how they’re holding up.

Competence quietly removes people from the list of who gets checked on. If you always look fine, everyone assumes you are, so the person holding everything together is often the one nobody has asked in months. That is not because friends stopped caring, it is because a steady exterior reads as a finished answer. Being asked is sometimes the only invitation somebody gets to say the true version.

Ask one of those people this week and then wait. Not in a group, not in passing, and not with a phone in your hand. Fine is what people say first, so leave room for the second answer.