One big gesture a year can’t cover for 364 days of not showing up.

One large gesture is easier than a year of small ones, which is exactly why it gets picked. People do not experience your care as a lump sum though, they experience it on ordinary days when nothing is scheduled. A big moment can top up something that is already there, and it cannot manufacture it from nothing. Everybody can tell which one they are getting.

Spend less on the occasion and more on the weeks around it. A message on a normal Wednesday counts for more than it should. Keep it up when nothing is being celebrated, because that is when it registers.