Helping a friend dodge every consequence isn’t loyalty. It’s helping them stay stuck.

Rescuing somebody over and over can look like love while doing the opposite. Covering the lie, doing the work, taking the blame: each one removes the exact information your friend needs in order to change. Consequences teach, and blocking the teacher does not cancel the lesson, it just makes it more expensive later. Part of why rescuing feels good is that it makes you necessary.

You can be completely on someone’s side and still not clean it up for them. Say both of those things out loud. Then be around for the part afterward, which is when they actually need you.