When you’re mad, ask what you’re actually mad about. It’s rarely the dishes.

Anger usually lands on whatever is closest rather than whatever caused it. The dishes are convenient and safe to be annoyed at, while the real thing might be that you feel taken for granted, or that third period went badly and nobody asked. Arguing about the surface leaves the real problem untouched, so it comes back next week in a different outfit.

When your reaction is bigger than the thing in front of you, that gap is the clue. Ask yourself what happened in the last day that you never said out loud. Then say that instead, to the person it belongs to.