An apology followed by the same behavior isn’t an apology. It’s a subscription renewal.

REFLECTION

WHAT THIS MEANS

Repeated sorries stop being about the thing that happened and start being maintenance. Each one buys another cycle of goodwill at no cost, and the behavior continues underneath, so the other person ends up paying for a service they never wanted. They also learn to discount your apologies, which is a hard thing to earn back later.

If you have apologized for the same thing more than twice, change one visible detail instead. Tell them what you are changing, then let the weeks do the talking. If you are on the receiving end, you are allowed to say you would rather see it than hear it.

A QUESTION TO SIT WITH

Who has heard you apologize for the same thing repeatedly?

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