Owning a mistake means fixing what you can and learning the rest. It doesn’t mean punishing yourself forever.

Accountability has an end point, which is the part people miss. It asks for repair where repair is possible and the lesson where it is not, and then it is finished. What comes after that is not more responsibility, just suffering that looks responsible from the outside. The replaying at two in the morning does not help anyone, including the person you hurt.

Ask what is left to do about it, concretely: an apology, a repayment, a changed habit. Do those, then write the lesson in one line so it lives somewhere other than your head. When it comes back later, you are allowed to say it is handled.