Say “okay, that’s a fair point” at least once in every disagreement. Watch how fast the other person relaxes.
LEADERSHIP
WHAT THIS MEANS
Conceding a small piece changes what kind of conversation you are in. An argument runs on the assumption that no ground will be given, so the moment some is, the other person can stop bracing and start thinking, and the volume drops a level. It costs you nothing, since agreeing with one point is not agreeing with the position. It also makes your disagreements more credible.
Find the part of what they said that is genuinely true and say so out loud, without adding but immediately after. Let it stand for a beat. Then make your point.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
When did you last grant your opponent a fair point?
MORE IN LEADERSHIP & INFLUENCE
- Saying “that’s a good question” to the kid who finally raised their hand might be why they raise it again.
- People aren’t mind readers. “I need a ride Friday at six” gets you further than hoping someone notices.
- Say your name like you’re proud of it. People take their cue from how you introduce yourself.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.