Whatever you say about someone who isn’t there teaches your listener exactly what you’ll say about them.

Every conversation about an absent person is also a demonstration. Whoever is listening learns your policy: what you do with information, how you talk when there are no consequences, and therefore what happens to them once they leave the room. They do not have to think about it consciously for it to register. Trust gets built and spent in exactly these moments.

Notice how you speak about people who are not there, especially when the company would enjoy something sharper. Say the version you would repeat with them standing beside you. Where you cannot, say nothing and change the subject.