The moment you say “you always” or “you never,” the argument stops being about today.

Those two phrases turn a single incident into a verdict on a person’s character, and nobody can defend a character charge, so the conversation leaves the actual event immediately. The other person now has to disprove their whole history rather than talk about last night. Whatever you needed from the conversation is gone the moment it widens.

Keep it to the specific thing and the specific day. Say what happened and what you would like instead. If a pattern is genuinely the problem, name the pattern calmly at a different time rather than as a weapon mid-argument.