Choosing respect over popularity means some people won’t like your no. They’ll still come find you when it counts.
REFLECTION
WHAT THIS MEANS
Being liked and being respected are produced by different behaviour, and the first one requires agreeing more than you mean. A no that holds costs you warmth in the moment and builds something steadier underneath, which is why the people who did not like it still come to you when something serious happens.
Say the no you have been avoiding and let the temperature drop for a few days. Do not chase the approval back with an extra favour. Watch who is still around and what they come to you for.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
Would you rather be liked this year or trusted later?
MORE IN MINDSET & IDENTITY
- Letting your friends see you cry isn’t losing face. It’s giving them permission to be human around you too.
- Trying hard where people can see you is vulnerable. Acting like you don’t care is the easy costume.
- If a friend group needs you smaller to fit in, the bravest move is walking out at your full size.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.