Setting a boundary with a parent can be respectful and firm at the same time. Those aren’t opposites.

Many people learn that love means availability without limit, so any limit feels like a withdrawal of love. It is not. A boundary describes what you can give rather than what they are worth, and saying it clearly is usually kinder than the slow resentment that grows when you never say it.

Pick one recurring situation and decide the line before it happens, not during. Say it once, warmly, without a long justification, since explanations invite negotiation. Expect some discomfort in the first few rounds, and hold the line gently rather than loudly.