Refusing to add to the gossip makes the conversation awkward for a minute. It makes you trustworthy for years.
REFLECTION
WHAT THIS MEANS
Talking about absent people is the fastest available form of bonding, which is why it works and why it costs. Everyone in the conversation is also quietly noting that you do this, and drawing the obvious conclusion about what happens when they leave the room. Trust is built mostly out of the things you decline to say.
When the topic turns, say something neutral and change direction rather than delivering a lecture. One flat response is enough. The awkward pause lasts a few seconds, and the reputation you get from a hundred of those pauses lasts a long time.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
When did you join a conversation you should have left?
MORE IN TRUTH, ACCOUNTABILITY & SELF-AWARENESS
- Being the only person who disagrees in the room is lonely. Being right while silent is lonelier.
- Say “that hurt” while it’s still small enough to talk about. Wait too long and it turns into a silent cold war.
- Looking at your bank balance when you’re afraid to is the first step toward ever feeling good about it.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.