Give people the same grace you want for your rough drafts.

You judge yourself by your intentions and other people by their output, which is why your own mess feels understandable and theirs looks like character. Everyone you meet is mid-draft: half formed, badly edited, written under conditions you cannot see. The version you are reacting to today is rarely their final one.

Think of the person currently annoying you and consider what draft they might be on. Give them the allowance you want when you are tired and doing it badly. That is not pretending they are fine. It is refusing to file a first attempt as a finished work.