Forgiving someone doesn’t approve what they did. It just stops you from carrying their bag uphill.

Letting go of a grievance does not mean deciding the thing was acceptable. Those are separate questions, and confusing them keeps people holding onto anger long past the point it protects them, as though putting it down would count as agreeing. The other person is not carrying any of this. You are.

You do not have to feel forgiving to stop rehearsing it. Notice when you pick the weight up again and try setting it down for an hour. Nothing is being conceded. You are just not hauling it up the hill today.