Growth can look like reading a message built to start a fight and simply not replying.

Some messages are built to get a reaction, and the reaction is the entire point of sending them. Seeing the design changes your options, because a fight needs two people and you are one of them. Not replying is not avoidance. It is declining to supply the missing half, which is a decision rather than a retreat.

Wait an hour before answering anything that makes your chest tighten. Read it again and ask what response it was engineered to produce. Then choose, calmly, whether to hand that over.