Playing games with someone’s feelings is a match where the only prize is being alone.

Steering somebody’s feelings works for a while and teaches you the wrong lesson, which is that closeness is something to be managed. The people who catch on leave, and the ones who do not are not really there with you. Either way the prize is a room with nobody actually in it. None of it builds into anything worth having.

Say what you want directly and accept whatever answer comes back. Directness feels riskier and costs far less over time. Being genuinely chosen requires being genuinely visible first.