If you have to wait until they’re asleep to scroll their phone, you already know it’s wrong.

The timing is the confession. Waiting for someone to be unconscious proves you have already predicted their objection and decided to go past it, which answers the whole question before you touch the screen. Whatever you find will not settle the feeling that sent you looking, because the feeling was about trust and looking is the opposite of it.

Say the worry out loud instead, in plain words and without a list of evidence. Ask for what would help you feel steadier. If no answer would let you rest, that is a conversation about the relationship rather than about the phone.