Kind doesn’t mean soft. The kindest coaches are often the ones who won’t let you skip the last lap.

Niceness avoids discomfort and kindness is willing to cause some. Letting someone off the hard part feels generous in the moment and quietly tells them you do not think they can do it. The people who insisted you finish were making a statement about your capacity, even when it did not feel warm at the time.

Notice where you lower the bar for someone because you do not want the friction. Hold it instead, and say plainly that you are holding it because you think they can clear it. Warmth and expectation belong in the same sentence.