Settling a fight between your siblings without picking a winner is advanced diplomacy. Most adults can’t do it.

Judging who was right is the easy move and usually the wrong one, because it produces a winner, a loser, and a grudge that outlives the argument. The harder thing is getting both people to describe what they actually wanted and then finding the arrangement that gives each of them enough. It takes longer and it holds.

Next time you are in the middle of one, refuse the role of judge out loud. Ask each person what they want to happen now rather than what happened before. Aim for an agreement neither of them can claim as a victory.