The second you say “that part’s on me,” you also get the power to fix it.

Blame and agency travel together. If a situation is entirely somebody else’s doing, there is nothing left for you to adjust, which feels safe and leaves you stuck there. Naming your share is uncomfortable for about a minute and then hands you something you can actually work with. People who seem most in control of their lives are often the quickest to admit fault.

Find one situation you have been narrating as unfair and identify the part that was yours, even if it is a tenth of it. Say that part out loud to whoever is involved, then go fix it.