Too extra for some people is just right for the ones worth keeping.

Intensity is not a flaw in need of reduction. It works as a filter, and filters do their job by excluding. People who find you too much are giving you accurate information about the fit rather than about your size. Turning yourself down attracts people who like the reduced version, which is a poor trade, since you then have to keep maintaining it.

Stop apologising in advance for being enthusiastic. Say the thing at your natural volume this week and pay attention to who moves toward you rather than away.