A good referee is one you forget was even on the field. Some leadership is like that.

The best version of authority is mostly invisible, and it is judged by the absence of problems rather than by any visible act. When it is done well the game simply runs, and everybody assumes it was running itself. Good management and good parenting go unremarked while showier versions collect the credit.

If you are responsible for others, measure yourself by how little you had to intervene. Set things up so the right thing happens without you in the middle. And when someone quietly keeps a group working, say so out loud.