You can’t withdraw from an account you never put anything into. Deposit first, then expect.

Relationships and reputations run on a balance, and you cannot draw on one you have not built. Asking for help, trust or attention from people you have not shown up for is not villainy, it is a miscalculation, and the refusal that follows feels much more personal than it is.

Before you need anything, put something in. Be useful to someone without an occasion. Answer the message, come to the thing, remember the detail. Then, when you do need to ask, do it plainly and without apologising. The ask lands differently when there is a history behind it.