Revenge asks who should hurt next; justice should ask what should be made right.

Revenge is organized around the other person’s suffering, and it treats the score as the thing to be settled. Justice, done properly, is organized around repair: what was damaged, who is carrying the loss, and what can be returned or rebuilt. The two get confused because both feel like a response to wrongdoing, and only one of them leaves anything better afterward.

When you have been wronged, ask what would actually make things better rather than what would make them feel it. Sometimes the answer is an apology, sometimes money, sometimes distance. Notice if the answer you want has nothing to do with your situation improving, and hold that lightly.