Mercy should recognize humanity without pretending choices had no victims.

Understanding why someone did something is not the same as pretending nobody was hurt. Compassion that requires erasing the victim is not compassion; it is a way of making the story easier for the person telling it. You can hold that a person was shaped by circumstances they did not choose and that what they did left real damage in someone else’s life.

When you find yourself explaining someone’s harmful behavior, check whether the person harmed is still present in your account. If they have quietly dropped out of the story, put them back. Both things can be said in the same breath, and only saying both is honest.