That sick feeling after you finally hold a line isn’t proof you messed up. It’s a muscle that’s never been used.

Discomfort after doing something difficult and correct is easily mistaken for evidence that it was wrong. The feeling is unfamiliarity rather than error, and it runs strongest in people who have spent years avoiding exactly that kind of moment, since the whole system is calibrated for keeping others comfortable. Guilt is not a reliable instrument here.

When the bad feeling arrives after you have held your position, let it be there without acting on it. Do not send the follow up message that quietly undoes it. It passes within a day or two, and faster each time.