When they only ring you after plan A cancels, you’re not their friend. You’re the understudy.

Being contacted only after other plans collapse is a pattern rather than a run of coincidences, and patterns are worth trusting over stated intentions. It usually says little about your worth and a lot about how somebody organizes their life. The sting comes from hoping each time that it means something it does not.

Watch the timing over the next month instead of reacting to one instance. Give your best hours to people who plan with you in advance. You can stay friendly with the late callers while spending less on hope.