Ask “how are you” twice. The first answer is the default setting. The second one is the truth.

The first answer to that question is a reflex, not a report. It gets given automatically because it is what the exchange usually calls for, and most people will not override the reflex unless something signals that the asking was real. Asking again is that signal.

Try it this week with someone you actually care about. Let the first answer pass, then ask again, more specifically, and wait through the pause without filling it. Be ready for a real answer, because once you have asked twice you have made a small promise to hear one.