Sometimes “just kidding” is a person testing whether it’s safe to be serious.
REFLECTION
WHAT THIS MEANS
A joke is a safe way to put something real into the room. It can be taken back instantly, which is why people use it to find out whether the truth underneath would be welcome. The laugh at the end is often a question rather than a punchline.
When someone jokes about something that sounds like it might be true, leave a small opening. A quiet question, or just not laughing it off, is usually enough. If they meant nothing by it, nothing is lost. If they were testing the water, you have just told them the answer.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
Who joked about something real and watched your reaction?
MORE IN PERCEPTION & ATTENTION
- Your first read on people is often right. Learn to notice it before you spend six months explaining it away.
- Be your own witness. Somebody should notice the effort you made today, and you were there for all of it.
- Decorate your mind like your favorite room. Put up the good memories, clear the junk and let some light in.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.