Decide what you stand for in a calm room. Nobody figures out their values in the middle of the pressure.
REFLECTION
WHAT THIS MEANS
Values decided under pressure are not really decided. In the moment there is a cost attached to every answer, and what emerges is usually whatever gets you through the next ten minutes. Working it out beforehand, when nothing is at stake, means the hard moment becomes a matter of remembering rather than choosing.
Take a quiet hour and write down three things you are not willing to do, in specific terms. Keep it short enough to recall under stress. When the situation arrives, you are simply checking a decision you already made rather than making one badly.
A QUESTION TO SIT WITH
Which of your values have you never written down while calm?
MORE IN MINDSET & IDENTITY
- Some dreams were handed to you at the dinner table. Check the label before you spend ten years chasing one.
- You won’t figure yourself out by thinking alone. You figure yourself out by trying things and seeing how they fit.
- Cringing at the old you is a good sign. It means the new you has better taste.
Free, with nothing to buy inside it.