People who know themselves are hard to manipulate. There’s no empty space for someone else’s script.

Persuasion works best where there is uncertainty to work with. Someone who has settled what they want and what they are like offers very little surface area, because there is no gap for a flattering story to fill. This is less about strength than about occupancy: the space is already taken.

Get clear on two or three things you actually want, in your own words. Write them down where you can check them. When somebody starts describing you to yourself in terms that feel appealing, the clarity gives you something to compare against.